Willy the new resident in space #38 accidentally got hauled in for stalking three days after he moved in last month. Virginia Beadle had gone to the market up the road for milk and eggs and bread and cigarettes, and Willy spied her returning from her errand. Perishing the thought of a little old lady opening her own car door and standing up all by herself and hauling her own groceries into the trailer, Willy gave chase to Ms. Beadle's car. He was hoping to beat her to her parking space so she didn't lose her head and open the car door by herself. Seeing a red, sweaty, wild-eyed Willy running after her car, old lady Beadle panicked and dialed 911 from her cell phone. Police responded and Willy was booked and processed, but he was released on O.R. by suppertime.

Police and a ambulance responded to a 911 call made from Anil's place in space #73 a couple weeks ago. He apparently tried to inhale a biscuit whole and choked on it. Anil was fine, but Ernie in space #83 got hauled away in the ambulance. Anil went batshit and whomped Ernie over the head with the cordless phone after Ernie saved Anil's life from that biscuit he inhaled.

Dot in space #8 got her cherry popped. Not LITERALLY. Jeeeeez, Dot's in her fifties. Plus, she's been married four times, and she's got grandkids. All she's got left of THAT cherry is the box that it came in. Her RAP SHEET cherry, on the other hand, was officially popped on Easter when the cops showed up to haul her to the County Nuthatch. Dot made a kickass batch of spaghetti and mushroom sauce, and the next thing you know, Dot's covered in spaghetti stains, she's laughing hysterically, and she's 40 feet off the ground, swinging from a tree branch. It took a bunch of cops and firemen and men in white coats to resolve the situation. Dot hung over the fireman's shoulder like a sack of taters and laughed all the way down that fire ladder. Last we seen of her, she was sitting up in the back of the ambulance, laughing and pulling on the paramedic guy's stethoscope. He was hanging up a clear plastic bag that no doubt led straight into Dot's bloodstream.

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