Welcome Wagon Willy had another minor brush with the law when Maudine called the cops on him for trespassing, littering, and harassment. Willy kept showing up on her doorstep every 15 minutes with armloads of worthless shit. Further, he smells like he dumped his head in a bucket of Old Spice. Willy was booked, processed, and released on a Promise to Appear. Now let's see if he can drag hisself away from Maudine long enough to keep that promise and show up for Court.

Maddog Monson got hauled in for Statutory Rape, on account of Doralee Binkman is only 16 years old. Maddog done knocked her up sometime around Valentine's Day. Maddog got released and he didn't get cited or nothing 'cause Doralee looks like she's been around the block a time or three. Shit, nobody in their right mind would guess she's a teenager, and Maddog ain't even in his right mind most of the time. The cops just let him off with a stern warning, and a suggestion that he ought to card anyone he boinks from now on.

The cops showed up last month and hauled away Rudy Bonaparte in space #19. The cops came to investigate a report about noise pollution that was called in by Old Lady Beadle in space #17. According to the police report, Bonaparte was in the middle of being frisked when, upon the cops' discovery of his pocket stash, Rudy came unglued and went completely batshit. The cops had to chase him down and tackle and shackle him, then shove him screaming headfirst into the back of the cruiser. It should be noted that on the ride to the PD for booking and processing, Bonaparte sat in that cage and cried until he pissed himself.

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