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We got us our very own serial murderer! He's been dubbed the Speedbump Saboteur by the local paper. The Speedbump Saboteur is being sought by police for the gruesome murders of all 50 of our huge pointy speedbumps. Somebody went and blowed up our speedbumps two at a time in the middle of the night last month until there wasn't a single speedbump left standing. This explains the 25 late-night explosions in the trailerpark last month, instead of our customary one to three. Police have no suspects, but they did take digital photos of our demolished driveway. They logged the photodisk and a whole shitpile of asphalt chunks into their evidence locker.
Arliss Feral is out! He got released from prison and returned to find the family trailer had melted. It was still smoking and there was firetrucks covering the entire driveway when the yellow cab dropped him off. The whole trailer park was swarming with cops, so Arliss went and hid out in the bushes behind DJ's place in space #41 until all the cruisers was gone. Then he went inside and scored himself some crank from DJ.
Ma Feral accidentally burned her trailer to the ground last month when she fell asleep in the recliner with a pot of Top Ramen on the stove. All the water boiled off and the Ramen noodles got hot and eventually burst into flames. The burning noodles then caught the kitchen curtains on fire, and the rest is history. Ma Feral was hauled in for questioning, but was released when it was determined there was no arson involved. It was just a simple case of classic trailerpark stupidity.
Rudy got let out of jail last month, then got hauled right back in by sundown. BT had gone to give Rudy a lift back to Tinbox Acres. On the way home, BT got pulled over for having a burnt-out license-plate light. When they pulled over, Rudy threw open the passenger door and bolted. It was force of habit. Once again, the cops ran Rudy down and tackled and shackled him. All he got charged with was evading the police. If he'd just sat his ass right there in that passenger seat and left the door closed, Rudy would be back at Tinbox Acres. Instead, he's having a reunion with his old tankmates. The cops didn't even give BT a fixit ticket. All they did was tell him to replace the license-plate lightbulb next time he was at the auto parts store.
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