DJ the dope dealer in space #41 got hauled in for possession of a controlled substance, sales of a controlled substance, giving false information to a police officer, resisting arrest, and a bunch of other shit that made the “Crimes” section of his police report three pages long. So everyone is just gonna have to go to Buzzards Trailertopia and do business with Speedy until DJ gets turned loose again.

Ma Feral has been spending so much time hanging with Carl Bailey the psych facility escapee up in space #1, she ain’t had no time to get herself arrested even ONCE last month. If conspiring with your neighbors to tip a Silver Bullet over onto its door was illegal, she sure as shit would have got arrested one time that we know of.

Welcome Wagon Willy, on the other hand, got hauled in for indecent exposure after the Silver Bullet fell on its door. Willy got hauled in when he crawled out a window that was facing up after Ma Feral and all the gals in the trailer park tipped over Beulah’s camper when Willy was in there. It ain’t legal to be outside without no clothes on, no matter HOW you got there. If you have to crawl out a window in a tipped-over trailer, you gots to remember to get dressed first.

Beulah Radkin in space #47 rode out in the back of the cruiser with Willy. Beulah’s too fat to go climbing through ANY window, let alone one of them little windows on the Silver Bullet. When emergency personnel turned her trailer right-side-up onto its wheels, she tumbled out the front door and bellyflopped butt-naked into the dirt. Beulah’s so big, them little bitty cop blankets wasn’t nearly big enough to cover all her private parts at once. So Maddog Monson went over and ripped the canvas awning off of Anil’s trailer and wrapped Beulah in it so the cops could quit retching long enough to stuff her into the back of a cruiser. Now Maddog’s a local hero. Everyone in the trailer park thinks Maddog should be rewarded with a Get Out Of Jail Free card, which he could use the next time he’s arrested.

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