Police responding to a report of a "Bigfoot beast punking a male juvenile up against a trailer" in space #54 instead found Pop Feral shoving his stepson Timmy into the bathroom window 'cause the door got locked with no one in it somehow. No arrests were made.

Welcome Wagon Willy rode out in the backseat cage of a cruiser for peeping again. This time he got it for peeping at Elvis' ex-wife through the living room window when Elvis went to pick up some pizza and beer. This is Willy's third peeping arrest in what, a year? If that Three Strikes law applies to peeping, poor Willy might end up in a electric chair.

Good thing that three-strikes thing only applies to people and not campers, otherwise the camper in space #45 would be a goner.  Dick, Jack, and Holmes all got hauled in for smoking meth outside their camper while on parole in the middle of the day during summer vacation when kids could see them. Additional charges were filed against Jack, who was on parole and wearing an ankle monitor, and he bolted when the cops showed up and he had to be ran down and tackled and shackled.

DJ the dope dealer in space #41 didn't get busted a single time last month.

DJ's competitor, Speedy over in Buzzards Trailertopia, on the other hand, got it but good last month. Speedy got popped not just for tweek this time, but a  bunch of firearms charges as well. The cops happened to pull him over right when he was on parole and had a whole trunkful of trailerpark toys like AK-47s, fully auto AR-15s, that flamethrower he made out of ductile iron water main piping, and a bunch of little shit like a couple .357 magnums, a .38, and numerous little popguns like .22 rifles & pistols and one BB gun. The BB gun and the flamethrower didn't count as firearms. BB guns use air instead of black powder. And flamethrowers, even a homemade flamethrower like Speedy's, counts as heavy artillery and there's no real actual law against owning it.

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