Virginia Beadle in space #17 called police to report her lighter had been stolen. Police have no suspects. Old lady Beadle stated she desires prosecution if the suspect(s) are ever located.

Maddog Monson was listed as the victim in a police report for a change. While the cops were here taking old lady Beadle's lighter-theft report, she told the cops about Maddog's orange lighter going missing, so they interviewed him, too. No arrests were made.

Miz Beadle also sent the cops to other folks' trailers who had lighters go missing recently, which was pretty much all of us. Fatty Daddy told the cops his purple lighter got stolen by space aliens. Timmy Feral backed up Fatty Daddy's statement. Pastor Pasqual said it was angels snatching our lighters because God wanted them, or something like that. Police have no suspects in any of the lighter thefts.

Eddie and Arliss in space #62 got picked up for possession and being under the influence of a controlled substance, methamphetamine. Each of them also had a meth pipe in the right front pants pocket, and a little baggie of meth in the coin pocket. Eddie whined the whole way to the police department about how unfair it was, because neither him nor Arliss had a lighter.

Carl Bailey the psych facility escapee in space #1 was cited for reckless driving again. Carl was weaving in and out of the bike lane on his electric scooter on the way back from the dive bar up the highway.

Jingo the circus midget in space #99 got picked up for peeping up women's skirts again. This time it was on a city bus. Jingo was laying on his back, scooting himself face-up in the aisle from the back of the bus to the front, looking up the skirts of standing women. When he got to the front of the bus, Jingo's head crossed over the white line, so the bus driver slammed on the brakes. That pissed everyone off so bad, they insisted the bus driver radio the cops.

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