Police responding to a hit-and-run report in our trailer park found a huge scratch down the side of old lady Beadles's car. A report was taken, but no arrests were made.

Timmy Feral in space #68 got busted for being a minor riding a bicycle under the influence again, and is not expected to be released for at least a month this time. The cops initially showed up on a report of a prowler outside the snack bar in space #43. No prowler was located, but police did find a severely hammered Timmy weaving away from the vicinity on his bicycle. Timmy blew a .17 (over double the legal limit if Timmy was an adult) so he got cuffed and caged and hauled away to some group home for buckwild teenage boys.

Pop Feral got hauled in for obstruction of justice, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and resisting arrest when he got all buckwild crazy and tried to stop the cops from busting Timmy. After a pack of cops chased Pop Feral down and had him firmly tackled and shackled, he was carried screaming to the police cruiser where he was inserted headfirst and belly-down into the backseat cage and hauled to the county jail for booking and processing.

Welcome Wagon Willy spent the entire weekend in the jail trailer for peeping into his next-door neighbor Midge's trailer again.

Tweeker Eddie and Arliss Feral in space #62 almost got busted for cooking meth, but both of them managed to squiggle through the fence behind their trailer and escape across the field next door right before the cops showed up, thanks to that nifty surveillance system they mounted on the top of their trailer.

Jingo the circus midget in space #99 finally ended up in the nuthatch over his compulsion to peep up women's skirts. The cops got sick of hauling him out from underneath the glass elevator at the mall, and had the paramedics do it this time instead. Since paramedics drive ambulances and not cop cars, Jingo ended up at the county nuthatch instead of jail this time. We'll be seeing Jingo pretty soon, since his health insurance won't cover but maybe three to five days in the psych ward. When Jingo's insurance runs out, he'll be out.

Fatty Daddy got lucky and slipped and fell in the big grocery store up the highway. The store already filled out the accident report and Fatty Daddy filed the insurance claim forms. Fatty Daddy stands to gain a big wad of insurance cash when his case settles. Until then, he will just have to sit around his trailer, suffering and eating insurance-funded pharmaceuticals like candy and watching soap operas all day.

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