Roses are red, violets are blue. If you’re caught outside in your birthday suit, you'll get hauled away too.

If you MUST deal dope to pay your space rent, then please remember NOT to sell to any undercover narcotics agents. You also might want to refrain from selling to informants. An informant is any friend who was recently busted for being under the influence of a controlled substance.

Twinkly Christmas lights are forbidden in the trailer park! How are we gonna know when cop cars come twinkling down the driveway if the driveway’s already twinkling? Whichever asshole wrapped all those flashing lights and tinsel and shit all up and down the lamp poles had better get out there and remove them pronto. We need to see the cruisers quick enough to sneak over to that hole in the fence and squiggle through before we get spotted and popped by the cops.

If you get yourself arrested and locked up, please make sure you arrange for a Tinbox Acres resident to pick you up and haul you back to your trailer upon your release. Better yet, try not to get yourself busted in the first place.

Let’s all learn a lesson from last year and save our fireworks and cherry bombs and M-80s and whatnot for the New Years Eve festivities, instead of blowing them all off on Christmas Eve. Santa Claus don’t appreciate all them flaming sparks and shit that goes ka-BOOM up there in the sky when he’s flying around in it. Plus, the midair explosions spook all of Santa’s reindeers.

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