Now, we ain't checked into it yet, but it probably ain't legal to go around shooting midgets in the ass with tranquilizer darts and then filming their innards. Not even in the name of science. Not even if you gots one of them doctorish degrees. And not even if the aforementioned midget is unconscious anyways and you're being egged on by a bunch of trailerpark yokels.

You can't just go around stomping the shit out of anyone you want. If you gots a good reason, on the other hand, then stomp away. Certainly we all agree that Willy had that ass-whooping coming to him. What kind of a idiot fucks the wife of a locked-up, seven-foot-tall, hairy, scary,  violent felony committing, tattooed Sasquatch in the first place? A smashed-flat idiot, that's who, now that the aforementioned Sasquatch is out of the joint. So even though a humongous major ass-whooping happened right there in front of all of us in broad daylight, no rules was broken.

Even if you got the best reason on Earth to stomp a minor's ass flat, you still gots to wait until he turns 18 before whomping him. It ain't even legal to stop a minor from whomping YOUR ass, if you can believe that. And it's all our fault because when these dumbass laws was merely dumbass bills, apparently we voted for them. Yet another reason for employed folks to take the time off work and vote -- to save the world from our votes.  No shit. Now you know where the entire Bill of Rights went.

If you live in a RV here and you gots to drive your house somewheres to pick up your drunk spouse outside a local casino, PLEASE unhook it from the hookups first. Please. Let's not accidentally drag no more electric, gas, water or sewer lines way up the driveway no more.

If you gots your RV for sale and you have to drive it someplace, please remove the FOR SALE sign from the windshield before you drive it. Remember, safety first. It ain't safe to drive around with the windshield covered up. Plus, if you could see out in the first place, you might notice that you're still hooked up to the utility lines.

Now that the new sewage lines is finally laid down and buried and re-paved and speedbumped, don't nobody go flushing no more meth chemicals, not even drain cleaner. And no bleach. It fucks up the septic tank microbes or something. Plus, it makes the pump rust faster.

Two wrongs won't make a right, but three lefts will.

A new rule got implemented in the trailer park this month. It's now against the rules to leap up out of the weeds and scare any non-residents down by the duckpond. This ain't the first time some of us borrowed Fatty Daddy's gorilla suit and hid in the weeds and leaped out and scared the shit out of whoever was researching something we did.  Now there's a actual RULE against it. Shit.

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