Climbing up onto the roof of your trailer wearing a firesuit and firehat, bawling your eyes out, then threatening to jump off is NOT an acceptable way of dealing with life's problems, Willy.

It don't look good for residents to be wandering up and down the driveway, ingesting illegal substances. Do that shit in your trailer, fer chrissakes.

Whoever's been posting them ugly photos of a Sasquatch porking a gigantic beige amoeba on the bulletin board of the laundry room better quit it. It makes folks puke in the washing machines.

If you gots a beef with someone, don't go sticking his garden hose in the window and turning it on when he ain't there. That don't solve nothing. Just get a bunch of neighbors together and show up on his porch with pitchforks and flaming sticks instead.

Stalking Priscilla Presley is still stalking, Willy.

Whoever is over there in space #41 singing Yellow Submarine at the top of their lungs 24-7 had better quit it right fucking NOW.

Let's all learn from all of last year's "personal accidents" and not wear pantyhose if you're competing in the Fourth of July drag race next month. Remember, you're going to be drunk, you're going to have to piss a lot, and it's a total nightmare trying to get out of pantyhose when you're drunk. Adding to the personal-accident count was the fact alcohol gives you a case of the ahh-fuckits.

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