It ain't legal to be feeding alcohol to children, even if it is your own stepkid.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you peep into other folks' trailers, you'll get hauled away too.

It probably ain't a good idea to go running from the cops when you're on parole and wearing an electronic ankle monitor.

It's against the rules (and probably against the law) to spray-paint stuff on people's cars, even if their car is parked in front of your trailer, Carl.

Please eat something after you wake up and before you start drinking in the morning on July Fourth. There will be a barbecue breakfast starting at 11 am and the grill will be going all day. Let's not get all hammered on a empty stomach and go puking willy-nilly all over the trailer park like we usually do on holidays.

If you're gonna participate in this year's annual Fourth of July drag race, you gotta be in drag. A kilt does NOT count as drag, Willy.

It's a direct violation of the entire Health and Safety section of the Tinbox Acres Rules & Regulations Handbook to be urinating outdoors. Plus, it just stinks up the whole trailer park.

Being locked up in the nuthatch for 72 hours will get you a three-day extension on paying your space rent, but if you want to avoid late charges while you're cooling your heels in the pokey, you better make arrangements with a friend or neighbor to pay your rent while you're in. If you've used up all your friends and neighbors, you can always sucker someone who's all set to be released soon to handle your affairs for you on the outside until you get turned loose.

HOME