Summer is coming, so it's time to remind you all to NOT strip your clothes off and run out into the duckpond. Come to think of it, just stay OUT of the duckpond altogether.

If you haven't been trained to operate it, then don't fuck with it.

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you stagger out of the trailer park shitfaced, you'll get locked in the drunk tank, too.

Not only are photocopies of dollar bills prohibited in our soda machine, so are nickel, dime, and quarter-sized metal slugs. If ANYTHING other than authentic US currency shows up in that primitive soda machine ever again, it will be replaced by a new machine that can tell the difference. You've been warned.

Please refrain from ingesting illegal substances outdoors where God and all the world can see you. Do that shit in your trailer instead. There are kids running around, you know, and they don't need to see you sucking on a meth pipe or sticking a needle in your arm on your front porch. You can still fire up a joint and smoke it while walking down the driveway--that just looks like a hand-rolled cigarette. And you can wander around with a can of beer in your hand as long as you don't wander off Tinbox Acres property and out onto the highway. But keep all your other shit indoors and away from uncovered windows.

Littering is against the rules here in the trailer park, and can have costly consequences. Virginia Beadle's little Chihuahua dog just cost $1,000 at the vet's office to remove a used condom he picked up off the driveway and ate while Old Lady Beadle was taking him for his morning walk.

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