It's against the rules to detonate or burn down ANYTHING in the trailer park, even if it's your own trailer.

Give a poot, don't pollute. Or something like that.

If you're wearing one of them Martha Stewart lo-jack thingies around your ankle, STAY THE FUCK IN YOUR TRAILER.

Please refrain from attracting vehicles with lights and sirens into the trailer park.

If you must run from the cops, please get on the freeway. That way you won't lead them here.

Please keep your pets confined in your trailer, especially exotic pets. Housecats can wander around outside okay, but big cats like bobcats and ocelots and whatnot scare the shit out of the neighbors when they wander around outside. Other pets you may NOT turn loose outside include, but are not limited to dogs, gators, monitor lizards, gila monsters, snakes, rats, dingos, hyenas, potbelly pigs, and antfarms.

It is no longer possible to use metal slugs and photocopies of dollar bills in the soda machine over by the laundry room. Management finally got rid of that archaic machine, and bought a newfangled soda machine that can recognize the difference between real money and trailerpark counterfeits.

The clothes washers in the laundromat are for washing laundry ONLY. Please refrain from using the washing machines as dishwashers, toilets, or anything else.

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

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