Please refrain from leaving your wet clothing in the washing machines until they get all moldy and stink up the laundry room. Also, please do not place Santa suits and beards into the washers and dryers. It tears up the outfits and gunks up the machines. Santa suits and beards should be professionally drycleaned only.

If you take something out, put it back. If you open it, close it. Don't just make huge messes and leave them laying around for the maintenance guy to clean up.

Jello is food, not ammunition.

It's against trailerpark rules to use flashing Christmas lights because all the colored lights flashing on our trailers makes it difficult to notice when cop lights come twinkling down the driveway. Please make sure you use stay-on Christmas lighting only so we'll know when to peep out the window and see who rides out in the backseat cage of the police cruiser.

Let's not forget that when the Christmas tree gets all dry and crunchy, it's time to keep the lighters and matches away from it.

Remember that some of your neighbors have relatives and children dropping by over the holiday season. Let's not be caught walking around the driveway in our bathrobes, smoking dope on our porches, fighting outside, and things like that in front of our guests. Just keep that shit inside your trailer until after the holidays.

Exotic pets, such as tigers, bears, man-eating snakes, rhinos, kangaroos, and elephants are forbidden to be kept as pets in the trailer park. Also forbidden are creepy-crawlies like tarantulas and scorpions. Keep this in mind when Christmas shopping this year.

Dynamite has no place in the holiday festivities.

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