We're getting new asphalt laid on the driveway down the middle of the trailer park on Saturday the 14th. We're having it done in the middle of winter to avoid all them problems associated with living on hot, fresh tar in hundred-degree-plus weather like we all got to experience the summer before last.

None of us that has a car will be able to park anywhere near our trailers while the asphalt is getting laid. Some alternate parking spots will have to be (a) the field next door (where we all had to shit when the sump pump was on the fritz), or (b) the parking lot at the market up the road (which will certainly freak out Hung Phuc the owner), or (c) in that housing tract across the street (which will piss off a whole bunch of normal people), or (d) in Buzzards Trailertopia up the road, but you'll have to pester a Buzzards resident for a ride back to Tinbox Acres.

Andy the security guy has generously offered electric cart rides around the trailer park until the asphalt hardens or dries or whatever it does. Andy will even be driving that little electric cart back and forth from Buzzards every couple hours to shuttle Tinbox Acres residents home after being dissed by Buzzards residents. The pickup spot is right outside the bar at Buzzards.

Try as hard as you can to bum a ride from a Buzzards resident. Otherwise, you'll have to ride all the way back to Tinbox Acres on a golf cart with that long-winded son of a bitch Andy chewing your ears off.

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