Look out for speeding Mariachi musicians! We all got to find out the hard way how them Mariachi guys drive on Cinco de Mayo. They drove in okay, but it looked like they hit the nitromethane switch on the way out. That's the fastest any of us has ever seen anyone take them huge pointy speedbumps. EVER. What made it particularly entertaining was the vehicle speeding over our huge pointy speedbumps was a Lowrider with curb-feelers on all four tires and dingleballs all around the headliner and Rosary beads hanging from the rearview mirror. They even had a plastic Jesus on the fuzzy dashboard.

All that dope traffic going into and out of the trailer park is going to earn Tinbox Acres another Arrest Fest if you guys don't cool it. How many times do you need to be told not to deal dope in the trailer park? Here's a better idea. Go play "Let's Make a Dope Deal" in the parking lot at the market up the road instead.

Watch out for Welcome Wagon Willy! Ever since Maudine moved in right across the street from him, Willy done wore out a groove in the driveway from crossing the street with armloads of flowers and fruit and cigarettes and whatever else Willy finds laying around his trailer that he thinks might get Maudine interested in him. That groove is so deep now, it looks a lot like a inverted speedbump. Don't nobody go flattening Willy when he's crossing the driveway, no matter how hammered you are when you pull into or out of the trailer park.

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