If the cable guy shows up, shut off your TV! We don't want the cable company to find out about the whole trailer park suddenly getting free cable TV. Now, we don't know this for certain, but we all suspect the cable company don't know nothing about the freebie situation here at Tinbox Acres. The cable guy is easy to recognize. He's the one driving that big white van with the cable company's logo on the side.

You can now safely drive your automobile down the driveway without the risk of electric shock. The phone company showed up and picked up all them wires and cables and whatnot that fell out of the sky when that telephone pole exploded for no reason last month. Of course, if any of us trailerpark dipshits knew even the most basic laws of physics, we would know Gauss' Law of Electricity. If we knew Gauss' Law, we'd know there ain't no way no how you can get electrocuted in a car from the outside with its windows rolled up. Even if we knew that, we'd probably still run over them wires and cables with a elbow hanging out the driver side window.

You're going to see a lot of resident traffic headed down to the duckpond. Skip Bodell and Norm Archer got together and built a humongous, gigantor Johnny Jump Up(R) for all of us to use! The ideal weight range to be in is between 125-175 pounds. Any fatter and the tree branch might splinter. Any skinnier and you might get launched to the moon. Let's just say to use that thing at your own risk, being that absolutely no failure testing whatsoever was done on it.

HOME