Watch out for Welcome Wagon Willy and Belinda! Be careful driving past spaces #38 and #50, because them two lovebirds have a habit of running outside wearing nothing but dessert toppings.

Rumor has it the soap brushes at the self-serve car wash up the highway are all gummed up with something lately. So you may want to use the high-power wash setting with soap instead.

The monthly haulaway of unregistered vehicles caused a spike in unfounded stolen-vehicle reports last month. If you think your car got stolen, please call the impound lot downtown first, and if your car ain't there, then call the police.

The speed limit through the trailer park is 5 MPH, even if you're on a electric scooter that can weave in and out of our huge pointy speedbumps or in a monster truck that can run over them with impunity.

There's a bunch of used playground equipment supposed to be delivered to the duckpond some time early this month. So keep on the lookout for a big truck unloading pipes and chains and whatnot down at the end, and don't run the delivery guy off. Our old catapult went kaput, so Skip and Maddog and some of the other neighbors are building a new one.

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