Since none of you can keep your cottonpickin' hands off the sump pump, Management has had to fork over a shitload of money for a new security system. The new sump-pump security system consists of a roll of barbed wire surrounding the pump housing, a half-dozen wireless security cameras mounted in the trees around it, motion-sensitive floodlights, and a Viper car alarm that causes the floodlights to flash like strobe lights when the alarm goes off. Consider yourself warned.  

Management thought maybe you'd learn that you shouldn't be farting around with the sump pump last month when it blew up on Andy the security guy. You all remember THAT, don't you? Andy was fiddling around with the pump housing when the sump pump exploded, covering him head to toe in excrement. Andy stood there and hollered, SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! so loud, it set off Virginia Beadle's car alarm.

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