What the hell happened in the trailer park last month? Management decided to skip the monthly unannounced inspection, so we have no idea if all the stuff we heard is true. All we know for sure is that one of you assholes died on the premises, which is in direct violation of Rule #3 in the Health and Safety section of the Tinbox Acres Rule Book.

We were told by the coroner's secretary that the guy who broke Rule #3 was struck down by God Himself. This would not surprise Management one bit -- in fact, this reinforces Management's belief in a supreme divine being. What kind of supreme divine being wouldn't be tempted to snuff one of you dipshits every once in a while?

Even worse than the news of a resident death on the premises, Management understands that some portly residents were dragged screaming drunk and naked out of that filthy duckpond down at the end of the driveway. Actual police reports supported this claim.

Please, for God's sake, if you weigh over, say, 225 pounds, then KEEP YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES ON. Even in the shower. It ain't that difficult to do -- just ask the Mormons about these mysterious thingies they call "undergarments." This concept of "undergarments" should be applied to the portly, in Management's humble opinion.

We are not even going to address the issue of what the hell you idiots have going on down there on the shore of the duckpond. What is that, some kind of weird arts-n-crafts project? What the fuck do you need that hugeass rusty bucket for? And all those campfire remains. And all that paint thinner, but no paint, except for a few severely disintegrated old spray-paint cans. As long as you're doing something constructive, Management has no complaints.

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