Ah, Tinbox Acres seems much calmer and safer now, doesn't it? Management managed to recruit a real cop who used to live at Buzzards Trailertopia. Buzzards wouldn't let him operate his jail facility, so Buzzards' loss is Tinbox Acres' gain. One man's trash is another man's treasure, so to speak. We just hope new resident security guy Marshal Arvin contains you assholes before emergency vehicles show up and haul you all away.

Speaking of which, what were you trailerpark dipshits doing naked in the duckpond again? Did you not heed Management's dire health warnings about duckshit exposure? You all had better not be splashing around in the pond unclad again.

Management had dropped by for an unannounced inspection of the park last month and what we saw made us form the opinion you all should not be trusted with child rearing. We almost ran over a kid who we swear was DUI on a bicycle. There were soiled diapers strewn all over the driveway in front of space #61. And a pair of twin boys were playing with a Bic lighter and what looked eerily like black powder on the trailer pad in space #24.

We don't want to tell you how to raise your kids, but DAMN.

When we got to the end of the driveway, that midget in space #99 ran out and flagged down our van. It seems someone's been peeping in the little feller's windows. The little guy was all shaken up because on closer inspection of the area underneath the window the peeper had been outside of, it looked like someone starched the midget's shrubbery.

Now, Management is not going to question why a midget would get so rattled over what happens to a bunch of weeds growing up against the side of his trailer, but he did seem upset. So whoever is over there starching the midget's bushes had better quit it. Go starch someone else's bushes.

Thank you all and try to stay out of trouble this month.

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