What the hell have you dipshits done to your trailers lately? What's with the boarding up of inhabited trailers? Management still hasn't figured out your fascination with windowfoil, and now several trailers have gotten boarded up. Occupied trailers.

Are you all THAT paranoid? What do you think is out there trying to get into your trailer, and presumably, at YOU? Monsters? Huge bugs from outer space? Something you hallucinated while ingesting that off-white crystalline substance you're all so fixated on? What? Management does not understand this in the least.

Now, it's not against the Tinbox Acres Rules and Regulations to go boarding up a trailer and then living in it anyway. YET. But it will be. You can bet on it. And when it's added, each and every trailer will have a notice of the new rule Scotch-taped to the door.

When Management stopped by for our monthly unannounced inspection, our attention was drawn to   all those old beaters. Don't you folks get sick and tired of seeing obviously abandoned vehicles laying all over the trailer park? Well, Management plans to fix that problem.

We called a the local towing company that the cops use, so if one or all of your old beaters goes missing this month, then check the police impound yard.

We were shocked to see dozens of dusty, dirty, dented, rusty heaps of shit laying all over the driveway, in your yards, and down by the duckpond. These heaps were all covered in dirt and had flat tires, and there were cobwebs hanging underneath, for God's sake. How long has it been since one of them was driven? How about pushed? Those beaters had to have sat there for a long freaking time to accumulate cobwebs like that. Management shudders to think of the size of the spider colonies that built those cobwebs. And the size of the SPIDERS. Yikes.

If you head outside and there's a big blank spot in your yard with maybe just cinderblocks left where a rusty dead heap of shit with cobwebs hanging underneath once sat, don't inundate SETI with phone calls reporting an alien abduction. It was a big flatbed tow truck that got your vehicle, not little green  men from outer space.

Since Halloween is coming up, Management would like to admonish each and every one of you to please, please, please, don't do anything to attract any vehicles with a light bar and/or siren. Thank you all in advance for your cooperation.

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