What are you trailerpark dipshits up to NOW? Management noticed some strange goings-on down by the duckpond during our unannounced inspection last month. You had better not be building another catapult, or gigantic slingshots, or anything that launches anything down there, or anywhere else on Tinbox Acres property.

And what exactly have you all been flushing down your toilets? Edgar the maintenance guy has spent more time hanging into the sump pump lately than all the time spent outside of it, pulling who-knows-what out of that thing. Well, there's only one way all that shit got in there--YOU flushed it. So stop it now. If it didn't come out of your body or off a toilet paper roll--and even then in moderation--don't flush it.

Management also heard that one of your rugrats got thrown out of Sunday School and banned from church forever. This does not surprise Management one bit. In addition, Management hears that one Tinbox Acres resident got a restraining order slapped on him by the church. How the fuck did you manage that one? Management is not even going to venture a guess.

Please, for God's sake as well as your own, try to behave yourselves for the rest of the summer. It's too hot to do anything buckwild crazy anyway. Just relax and lay around your trailers and suck up taxpayer dollars along with your state-funded hooch.

Thank you all, and God bless you in advance.

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