What have you canned dipshits been up to lately in that trailer park? The only thing in which Management can take consolation is the fact that there is no way on Earth a bunch of backward hicks can accomplish as much mayhem as Management has heard about thus far.

First of all, it's reputed that stolen property is being harbored in the trailer park. This is in clear violation of the Tinbox Acres Rules and Regulations Handbook. Further, the stolen property has been described as vehicle, business, and/or residence. This sounds like potential hefty fines for Management to pay in the future, and had better not be true. Or else.

Next, Management got wind of romantic shenanigans happening between non-cohabitating residents. You all know Management frowns upon intertrailer fraternization, because it inevitably leads to one lost rented trailer space due to cohabitation, separation, and/or incarceration. Furthermore, Management heard that the intertrailer fraternization in question involved adultery, a deadly sin.

How many times must you Sterno-drinking imbeciles be told not to attract emergency vehicles into the trailer park? There have been an inordinately high number of police cruisers, fire trucks, ambulances from both the regular hospital and the nuthatch, and even paddy wagons for crying out loud, than normal in the trailer park lately.

Please, Management begs all of you, try not to commit any more deadly sins, avoid intertrailer fraternization, and for the love of God, stop attracting emergency vehicles into the trailer park! Thank you, and God bless each and every one of you in advance for your cooperation.

HOME