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January 1, 2008 by DJ the dope dealer. I know what you're all thinking. It musta been DJ that sold Willy the Viagra that made him go ballistic and cause that big ruckus in the trailer park. Well, I'm here to tell ya, it wasn't me ..

December 2007 by Pop Feral. How hammered was I on Thanksgiving? Jeeeeeez, I can't believe I ended up strapped into that gizmo down at the duckpond. Ain't no surprise I ended up bellyflopping into that filthy, ice-cold water thanks to that contraption ..

November 2007 by Davey in the snack-bar trailer: I'd just like to start out our neighborly relationship by asking, where can a fella get a dope connection in this trailer park? I looked up and down the driveway (and even into some trailers) and far as I can tell, this place is DRY ...

January 2007 by Welcome Wagon Willy. Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh, my heart is all busted up into itty-bitty little pieces. As you all know, Belinda dumped my ass months ago for that hotshot demolition derby driver Ramone. And she's still with him, despite me sitting in my truck kitty-corner across the driveway, constantly watching her trailer for months on end ...

September 2006 by DJ the dope dealer. I can't believe out of all the trailers in Tinbox Acres, Maddog Monson picked mine to hide in when the cops came after him. When the cops swarmed Maddog's trailer, he not only ran to mine, but he showed up with about half his body weight in primo hydroponic pot ...

August 2006 by Jingo the circus midget. Looking at me now you wouldn't know it, but a hour ago, I was laying face-up on the living-room floor of the trailer in a pool of my own sweat, fucked completely flat by a girl midget with huge tits ...

May 2006 by Pop Feral. My boy Timmy went and wrecked not one, but two of my pickup trucks this month. I blame Ramone, the new guy in space #90 ...

March 2006 by Dot the crazy cat lady. Aaaaaagh, I can't believe Willy dumped me and the cats. Not that the cats miss him much, although they did like Willy more than they ever liked my deceased husband Tod. The cats used to bury Tod when he'd pass out stinky-drunk in front of the trailer ...

January 2006 by Welcome Wagon Willy. It's time to do the whiskey-tango, folks, the hot new chick in space #50 looked at me. She's even hotter than Maudine!

December 2005 by Lulu the neanderthal-looking chick. Oooooooooh, I got a man interested in me! I'm gonna get married! I'm gonna get married!

November 2005 by Pastor Pasquale, religious zealot: First, let me start with a tale of a widower raising his son alone. One day, the father and son awoke to discover the satellite TV reception to be on the fritz. Not even the freebie stations would come in clearly. The father paid a monthly stipend to the local cablery so he and his son could have unfettered access to hundreds of television stations, including several pornographic ones ...

August 2005 by Elvis Presley. Help! I'm being held hostage at the circus. It all started out innocently enough, with me headed north of Los Angeles to spend the summer at my rich ex-son-in-law's ranch. I've been here at Neverland for two months now ...

July 2005 by Pastor Pasquale, religious zealot. As a religious leader, I am sometimes asked to console the grieving when someone passes away. Even if I had not heard the explosion and seen the flames shooting out of the trailer in space #8, I would have known a member of my flock had gone to Heaven ...

June 2005 by Maddog's ex and Doobie's ma, Doralee. I can't believe my kid got 86'ed from Sunday School. All she did was scribble on a wall with a marker pen. That ain't so bad ...

May 2005 by Andy the ex-security guy: Who'da thunk heavy construction equipment could be dangerous like that? Not me. I mean, I've seen that shit on TV for years, and I never saw it do anything to anyone on TV like what it done to me at work last month ...

February 2005 by Pop Feral. I can't believe that rotten kid of mine went and blowed up his trailer. No, wait, I can believe it. Darrell ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, that's for sure. Arliss ain't much smarter, but at least he has enough brains to cook his meth over a electric stove ...

January 2005 by Welcome Wagon Willy. I can't believe I spent Christmas Day in the nuthatch. You can't open gifts when you're straitjacketed ...

December 2004 by Dot's new husband Tod. Where am I?  Is that a ceiling up there? How did this ring get on my finger? Why are all these cats staring at me? Is there a kitchen emitting delicious smells nearby? I just can't seem to figure out how the hell I got here ...

November 2004 by Pastor Pasquale, religious zealot. I finally dragged myself into the 21st Century in August because there weren't no religious holidays that month to otherwise keep me occupied. Ah, idle hands are the devil's playground, are they not? And Pastor is only human. So I got me the Internet. I started out by looking up words I'd heard before, but didn't know what they meant. When I got to the word 'fetishist' I somehow lost two weeks clicking on links and seeing images straight from the stinky bowels of Hell ...

October 2004 by new neighbor Kevroy Gordon. Hooooooo-doggie, is this place hopping or what? I never seen this much action in all my life, not even when I was shacked up with that buckwild Latina chick named Loopy ...

September 2004 by Welcome Wagon Willy. It ain't fair. I had dibs on Maudine. I seen her first. And after I wasted all them expensive candies and flowers and cigarettes and beer and other offerings on her, none of which she ever accepted. All she ever done was tell me she didn't want to be with ANYONE, then she'd call the cops on me for stalking ...

August 2004 by Dot the crazy cat lady. I can't believe it. I finally get a guy interested in me, and he bursts into flames and explodes to smithereens in front of all the neighbors on a national holiday ...

July 2004 by Beulah's kid Timmy. Wowie kazowie, the niftiest thing on the planet happened last month. I got to drink my first beer! Old step-Pop Feral give me that beer as a reward for breaking into some old fart's bathroom ...

June 2004 by Welcome Wagon Willy. I know everybody is just as grossed out as I am about Fatty Daddy getting his lights boinked out by them two old ladies up in space #40. I couldn't agree with you more. See, I wanted them to boink MY lights out ...

May 2004 by Jingo the circus midget. When the guy who sold me my trailer down there on the shore of the duckpond said I'd have a view, he wasn't kidding ...

April 2004 by Dot the crazy cat lady. This past month has been nothing but chaos, I tell you, chaos!

March 2004 by old lady Beadle. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it. I got to find that one out the hard way on Valentine's Day ...

February 2004 by Pop Feral. What the hell happened while I was in prison? More specifically, what the hell was my wife doing with that creepy pervert named Willy? And what is she doing with that nuthatch escapee named Carl? A lot of weird shit's went on here in Tinbox Acres ...

January 2004 by Andy the security guy. What a long, strange month it's been. December is supposed to be all full of joy, what with Christmas and presents and Santa and all the flashy decorations and whatnot. December in Tinbox Acres was anything but joyful, at least for us folks who lives downstream from space #62 ...

December 2003 by DJ the dope dealer. Every single problem I had last month can be blamed on one thing --Thanksgiving. If it weren't for everyone being all caught up in the spirit of giving thanks for all the good things we got and all the troubles we don't, I'd have been concentrating on keeping troubles offa my doorstep ...

November 2003 by Anil Roberts, proselytizing goofball. The Good Lord works in mysterious ways, don't He? Why, just last month, God took a break from torturing trailer parks and done something nice for Tinbox Acres. Of course, I'm talking about the free cable TV ...

October 2003 by Welcome Wagon Willy. Am I the luckiest motherfucker on the planet, or what? There's this totally hot chick named Maudine in the trailer across the street from me, and I'm shacked up with the wildest woman on the planet. Life is good. Just when I thought life couldn't possibly get any better, guess what moved in next door to me ...

September 2003 by Carl Bailey, psych facility escapee. When I was still a inmate in the psych facility, everybody had to go to this thing called "group." That's where a whole bunch of us inmates would sit in a circle around the doctor, who would ask questions that we had to answer in front of everyone or get a time-out ...

August 2003 by Jingo the circus midget. You know, I thought things were weird back when I worked the circus. But all that shit's baby aspirin compared to what goes on here at Tinbox Acres. Even my impromptu trips to the nuthatch and jail last month were mild compared to the shenanigans ...

July 2003 by BT. The absolute GREATEST thing happened last month. I got a job! Now, it ain't a actual PAYING gig or nothing like that, but I got to break out my blowtorch and Rudy got to break out his Skilsaw. We both got to tweek all kinds of shit together. Unfortunately, Rudy got hauled off by the cops ...

June 2003 by Tweeker Eddie. What a long, strange trip it's been. I guess cooling my heels in that jail cell for all those months made me kinda forget what a wild, wooly place this trailer park truly is ...

May 2003 by Doralee's ma Dena. My family and I just moved here from Buzzards Trailertopia, and we'd all like to introduce ourselves to the neighborhood. My name is Dena Binkman, and I have a trailer ...

April 2003 by Chuck, the dude who owns the field next door. I'd like to know what's going on out there on my property. Every time I show up, there's something rotten or stinky or burnt or just plain WEIRD laying around on the ground ...

March 2003 by old lady Beadle. I've lived here in Tinbox Acres for over 30 years now. I think I've done a real good job of tolerating what all goes on here. I've seen terrorists, sasquatches, huge exploding fireballs, rocks and other heavy objects raining out of the sky, cop lights twinkling, vehicles splashing into the duckpond, naked screaming speedfreaks being pulled out of the duckpond, garbage trucks rolling by my trailer on two wheels, exploding trailers, a burning gazebo, a tire fire and all kinds of weird shit ...

February 2003 by Maddog Monson. Why on Earth is Buzzards in a war with Tinbox Acres? This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of in my life, and believe me, I've heard some stupid shit ...

January 2003 by Anil Roberts, proselytizing goofball. The end of the world is nigh. The end of the world of trailer parks, anyways. God's always had a history of punishing trailer parks with twisters and earthquakes and locusts and whatnot, all the way back to Adam and Eve ...

December 2002 by Arliss Feral. A really strange thing happened here in prison. Not that strange things don't happen all the time in here -- they do. But this is just so, you know, freakin' YIKES ...

November 2002 by Pop Feral. Did you know that my entire family, myself included, is rotting in jail right now, just like the smashed fruit rotting on our porch and on the outside walls? You can blame Harold and Madge next door in #56. They're the ones what launched the fruit at us, so it stands to reason they're the ones what called the cops on us too ...

October 2002 by some dude who was gonna move into the trailer park but didn't. What are you people, a bunch of hicks? Were you all dropped on your heads as children? What the hell is wrong with all of you?

 


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