January 1, 2008 Nobody ever expected Timmy Feral to make it big, no-siree. But that's exactly what the little shit went and did -- and he did it while at the juvie farm.

December 2007 We all got to find out the hard way that the police and SWAT teams do not get Thanksgiving day off work when we tried out that gigantic slingshot that Andy and Maddog built down at the duckpond.

November 2007 We got a new neighbor here in the trailer park, and his name is Davey Uhlig. Davey owns a real business -- a snack bar -- and he towed that business all the way to Tinbox Acres behind a little white RV with red stripes down the sides.

January 2007 Of all the crazy, dangerous shit we have here in Tinbox Acres, it was Christmas lights that burned down half the trailer park on Christmas Eve.

September 2006 A cop-car parade went twinkling down our driveway in the middle of the night and didn't stop until it got to Ramone's trailer in space #90. We all seen it.

August 2006 If you didn't hear the trailer in space #24 explode on the Fourth of July, you're deaf as a post. It got us all out of bed and into the driveway in ratty pajamas, undergarments and bathrobes, sporting bedhead hairdos first thing in the morning.

May 2006 Hooooooooo-doggies, that trailer wreck out on the highway sure was exciting, wasn't it? The whole trailer park's been buzzing about it all month.

March 2006 Unless you slept through the last month, you heard about Willy dumping Dot for Belinda. It's been the buzz of the trailer park for weeks. Before the grapevine mangles the shit out of it, here's the whole scoop.

January 2006 Winter Olympic events are bullshit. Skiing, slaloming on skis, ice skating ... who ever does any of that? About the only Olympic event that makes any sense to us trailerpark inhabitants is the luge. Now, that would be fun, packing a kayak full of people and sending it careening willy-nilly down a ice-lined tube.

December 2005 It's time to stockpile canned food, encircle our trailers with barbed wire, and fire up the generator; space aliens have landed in the trailer park.

November 2005 You'd think by now we would have learned our lesson about hiring tweekers to do our yard work.

August 2005 It looks like we won't have to worry about Welcome Wagon Willy skulking around and peeping into our trailers at night no more. Willy's nights are otherwise occupied these days.

July 2005 Dot sure didn't get many miles out of her husband before he got totaled.

June 2005 Maddog and Doralee's kid got herself 86'ed from church. Now, we can picture Andy's boy Damian getting throwed diaper-over-pacifier out of Sunday School for the day, but not the Doobster.

May 2005 In case everyone is wondering what all that hammering and sawing is about over there in the field next door, it's a house.

February 2005 Every idiot knows you ain't supposed to be cooking meth over a open flame.  Every idiot except for Darrell Feral, that is. And even HE knows that now that he blowed his trailer up cooking meth over that gas stove of his.

January 2005 The one thing the police seemed to want to know more than anything else in the whole world was this. How the fuck did a bunch of Christmas carolers wind up buck nekkid in that freezing cold duckpond of ours?

December 2004 If you ever wondered what would happen if a dumpy trailer park out in the middle of nowhere were to lose power, here's the answer. Marriage and death happens, at a rate of four marriages to one death.

November 2004 We all laughed when Jingo started claiming a hill was forming in the middle of his trailer. The lunatic ravings of a circus midget, that's what we thought. Well, we was wrong.

October 2004 It seems he done Andy and Maddog a big fat hairy favor when Darrell Feral accidentally forgot to cut a door-hole in that expando doohickey that he built onto that trailer in space #91.

September 2004 It finally happened. Our beloved security guy, Andy, got shitcanned. We all gotta admit that Andy's really been asleep at the switch since the first of the year.

August 2004 When Rogelio promised us a July Fourth fireworks display we'd never forget, he wasn't kidding.

July 2004 That ain't no Elvis fan living in that big glittery sparkledy doublewide in space #54, no-siree. Yes, there's been Elvis music blaring out the windows ever since the place got occupied, but it ain't Elvis records or tapes or CDs, or even eight-tracks or reel-to-reels. Nope. That's real, live Elvis music blaring out the windows in space #54, performed by real, live Elvis his ownself.

June 2004 That wasn't a earthquake that hit space #40 last month, it was twins Pearline and Earline Maxwell riding Fatty Daddy all over the inside of their trailer.

May 2004 Welcome Wagon Willy and new residents Dick, Jack and Holmes wound up locking horns with the cops last month. It all started out innocently enough, with Willy stopping by space #45 to welcome the new neighbors into the trailer park.

April 2004 We all almost went to war again last month, only not with another trailer park like Buzzards Trailertopia. Nope, the party we nearly waged war on was the streetsweeper guy.

March 2004 Rudy Bonaparte, the Skilsaw-wielding speedfreak in space #19, literally bit the big one right there in front of old lady Beadle on Valentine's Day.

February 2004 For two solid days last month, the entire Western hemisphere was back on the wire, thanks to Jingo the incredible circus midget.

January 2004 About a quarter of Tinbox Acres trailer spaces got evacuated, and them residents got foisted onto the rest of us last month. In addition, the sump pump up and died, and it ain't pumping shit no more.

December 2003 Wowie kazowie, was that incident with the Silver Bullet the talk of the trailerpark all last month or what?

November 2003 Tinbox Acres has scored a brand-new toy down by the duckpond, thanks to the creativity and boredom of Skip Bodell and Norm Archer. That's what them two kept shooing us away from at the duckpond all last month.

October 2003 It seems no matter how much we get warned about it, somebody always ends up leading the cops in here at a very high rate of speed.

September 2003 The dog days of summer may be over, but the summertime action here at Tinbox Acres is still going full-blast.

August 2003 Wow, we all sure had a GREAT Fourth of July, didn't we? Even though the cops showed up and hauled a bunch of us away, they was kind enough to turn us all loose so we could get home in time for supper.

July 2003 Our catapult got retired as a medieval weapon of mass destruction last month so it could start its new career in show biz. This is why there ain't a catapult down by the duckpond no more. It now resides in the dirt lot next to the market up the road.

June 2003 Clarence's express ride to Hell began when he got released last month.  Soon as he was out, Clarence hopped a city transit bus home to Tinbox Acres. He promptly got into his monster truck and headed to the market on the corner for a 12-pack of Busch or Pabst or whatever cheap beer he found on sale.  

May 2003 If there ain't a award for doing the coolest thing in the trailer park all year, there should be. That award ought to go to Dot in space #8 for what she done on Easter Sunday, even though she didn't know what she was doing.

April 2003 There ain't much to tell about the life of Bobby Roy, a 350-pound drunk who spent the vast majority of his time passed out in his trailer. Nobody'd seen hide nor hair of that fat alkie for months, except for when he'd stagger out the driveway and up the highway to  get more hooch.

March 2003 According to police reports, the flaming tire that burned Anil Roberts' trailer to the ground last month was launched from our very own catapult here at Tinbox Acres. Since it was friendly fire, no arrests were made.  

February 2003 Buzzards Trailertopia declared war on Tinbox Acres last month when they launched a series of deliberate attacks against us. It seems they done found out about our catapult.

January 2003 Thanks to boredom, along with the combined ingenuities of several unemployed trailer park residents, Tinbox Acres now boasts a feature to rival the bar at Buzzards -- we have a brand-spanking-new catapult.

December 2002 Despite what arson investigators would have you believe, spontaneous combustion is what caused them two structure fires what attracted all them cops and the news crews and that big red firetruck.

November 2002 The Feral family in space # 54 got into yet another knock-down drag-out brawl with each other last month. They was clanging and banging around a lot more than usual this time, what with all the trash cans being thrown and the brawl migrating from the living room to the kitchen then spilling outside, and finally being broadcast into the karaoke machine.

October 2002 In a daring act of bravery last month, Andy the security guy stopped a peeping tom dead in his tracks. "That guy was in the process of committing a misdemeanor, and he had to be stopped," Andy stated afterward.

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Copyright 2002-2008 by Paula Huff/Tinbox Acres